Thoughts on my Heart

Some thoughts on my heart:

Recently, I experienced intense heart palpitations that made me realize just how delightfully terrifying the heart is. I lay in my bed for an hour and a half and felt like an object was trying to free itself from my chest.

I find that the heart is the ultimate symbol of life and death, the bridge between these two states of being and not being. I have decided to humanize my heart. Given its importance in my life, He may just be the most ‘human’ thing about me and deserves recognition for this. And let there be no mistake or confusion at my choice of pronoun, my heart is very much a he. The authoritarianism and temperament inherent to his existence leads me to perceive it as an additional paternal figure. The one you can rely on when the other one isn’t there.

I dislike that the heart has been reconfigured into the ultimate symbol of love. It is the ultimate symbol of everything. Totalitarian in all senses of the word. My heart checks all the boxes off the authoritarian checklist:

• In complete control
• Omnipresent
• Exercises an unmatched authority over my life
• Indispensable

My heart is the ultimate dictator, the icon and role model of all dictators. Kim Jong-Un wishes he could be like my heart. Putin tried to buy me.

It is an abstruse known fact that my heart has had numerous meetings with the dictators of now, advising them on how to best exercise repressive rule.

My heart said “The only way you can truly excel is by creating a relationship between you and the public that is indispensable. Create ties that are so poisonous that if removed, would result in the immediate end of the one who tried to live without you. Their existence is contingent on yours. What I mean is, do everything you can so that if you are hurt so is your public, if you are angry so is your public. In short, make yourself the mirror of the public. This is the only way to be a true dictator in the modern era.”

My heart took a break to beat a little (flying to Saudi Arabia is tiring even in first class) he continues “In this digital era, the best way to mask your true nature is by rebranding yourself as the complete opposite of who you truly are. The digital is the best channel for this. Take me as an example, I have become an ‘emoji’ as a way to distract my public from knowing my true self.”

The dictators listened eagerly, Erdogan was particularly overwhelmed with excitement, he had had a poster of my heart in his room for years. And now, to finally be in the same room! Well, he was excited of course.

My heart had little time for selfies and headed back to where he truly belongs, in my body resting comfortable right below my spleen and above my lungs.

Here is another little-known fact, when you jerk awake in the middle of a night of sleep, that is actually your brain waking you up because your heart was beating too gently.

Or so this is what they want you to believe, the next time it happens recall that there is only one entity in control and when you seem to be forgetting him, dreaming a dreamer’s dream, he will whip you back into remembering.